Of Scum and Villainy
The Smart Mouthed Klepto
Height: 5’ 11"
Kevin started his smuggling ways young by stealing speeders on The Wheel. His abusive, alcoholic father kept him at bay from normal activities, and he wholly lent to Kevin’s love of piloting, giving him something to do while staying away from home. Due to this, Kevin had always been jaded to most others except for one person. A young human Corellian male named Thaen Sonej.
He gave everything to Thaen, and Thaen everything to him, every thought and every cent. Thaen ultimately decided to join the Empire of his own will after a recruiter for the Empire came up to them both after they successfully stole some weapons from a shop. The recruiter came up to them, tall and poised, with a double X patched on his right shoulder and a patch on his right chest reading “Rothe”. At first, they thought they were going to be in serious trouble, but the recruiter seemed almost impressed with their work and offered a place in his stormtrooper corps unit in the XX division. While the idea of the Empire did not concern Kevin much (at the time), he did worry that his last time seeing his best friend would be nearing: and he was right. It was not long before Thaen would be cast into the Empire’s stormtrooper program, and Kevin would see neither hide nor hair of his friend from then on.
Kevin missed his dear friend and truly looked to fill the void with auto theft. His natural skills of piloting, good looks, and charm only accelerated his understanding of the Wheel and furthermore accentuated his escapes and connections to those on the Wheel. He eventually made connections with a powerful man named Reom, the CEO of Isotech Cybernetics. He did a small job for him and in return had a few extra credits to help pay for his apartment on the wheel.
But Kevin hated doing the same shit every day, and he needed to do something big. As luck would have it, many years past Thaen’s Empirical culling, Kevin found himself with the grand opportunity of becoming more than a just a nuisance and doing small jobs. He found the 350-X Shuttle, a Lambda-class T-4a Imperial Shuttle, captained by Mir Rothe, at a star port on The Wheel. He wanted to take out his frustration on the Empire, by stealing the ship, and so he did.
Not realizing there were passengers aboard, he flew the ship with expertise towards Tatooine, being chased by imperial forces. Among one of the passengers was Slith Skael, a highly qualified Sluissi engineer. He slithered his way to the cockpit of the ship and helped Kevin repair and fly the ship as much as he could, but it was in vain. The ship crashed on the surface of Tatooine as Imperial forces shot them down.
The two would become good friends in the years to come on the planet of Tatooine, trying to find a ship to hijack and leave the two sun planet. Before those years would come, though, they did spend some time fleeing the immediate palm of captain Rothe. Thought he never did catch the two, he would forever hold the grudge against Kevin in hopes to find his prized engineer again.
Captain’s Log: Day 1
Well, I guess this is day 2. But Day 1, I wasn’t a captain. I am now, captain. Captain Kevin. Look ma, ya boi’s a captain. Ugh, where to start, though. So, Bon Bon, shaking his Twi’lek ass in the cargo hold as a prisoner. I don’t typcally trust things with tentacles, especially on their heads. That’s been a tough rule to follow in my life, but if there’s one thing I have, it’s dedication. When push came to shove and it behooved us — beheeve? — to rely on him to help us, he jumped in a gun and shot. My thought on releasing him was straight forward: First, running is for pussies. Second, if we die, he’s dying too because there’s not a lot of things that can survive in open space. It was a good chance to release him and let him feel part of the squad. Gain his trust. Become on of his people.
Once we got to Ryloth, we were duly rewarded with repairs to the ship, but I mean, Skaels could have done it. I always enjoy watching that fine tail at work. So anyway, we get to Ryloth, right, and this fine ass Twi’lek came up to us, and mercy me I can’t remember what she said. She pointed to a bar, and I was in heaven. And just like heaven, I don’t remember anything from last night.
Captain’s log: Day 2
So, we’re on our way to New Meen. Along the way we hit some rough terrain, but I don’t call me Captain Kevin for nothing. Totally ripped right through all of it, just like whiiiiiiiiir wheeeeeeeeiiiirr. I could have slowed down, but Rule 1: I’m not pussy. AutoLog, correct that. I’m not a pussy. No. Stop writing. Damn it. Delete. Delete. WHY AREN’T YOU DELETING? Never mind.
Anyway, as we’re ripping along, we hit a crack and wrecked the speeder. Skaels is able to take care of it, I’m sure. Just a dent, really. But then, we started getting shot at. It was fucking Chex Mix. What the hell was he doing there, I thought to myself at the time. So we caught Chex Mix, cut off a couple arms and got some information out of him, the old fashioned way by the old fashioned guy.
We chased some of his colleagues into a cave which turned out to be a lylek nest. Which, if I’m reading this in the future — first off, hi me nice hair — more importantly a lylek is a big bug with pincers and tentacles. I would totally write a fanfic about it. I’m not gonna say it would be a sexual thing, though. It would probably be a combat war thing against the Lylek with subtle sexual tones. At least, that’s how the critics would describe it.
We get the speeder dug out and un-dented and get to New Meen. Bon Bon is their leader? That’s adorable because he’s ugly as shit. They’ve been having trouble with Drom. Some big shot who’s taken over the Rill cartels. I know, it’s a lot of new words.
After we get loaded up on all this information, we take a rest. Then, we woke up to a large crash, I was pissed for being woken up. There were a couple of Drom’s guys. They were drunk. Lucky bastards. And they wanted to borrow our speeder. Fat chance. Not while Captain Kevin is on the case. Aurelius says some old people mumbo jumbo about making a deal for a vaper condesor cause blah blah, I stopped listening. Gaylen takes the first shot, typical, and we started fighting these drunk thugs.
After we kicked their asses we ran down the runner. I mean. Literally ran down. Aftward, we found the vapor condensor to be a heap of metal but Skaels can fix it eventually. So we decided to go to bed not long after. And damn, I was pretty tired. And I needed a drink. And the old guy is a jedi. And there was a huge plan that I totally missed out on. Captain out.